Navigating Time and Life – Sapna Fathima Saleem – District 121

I realise that time is slipping by so very quickly. It has been 3 weeks since I arrived in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

I remember cautiously opening up my Harvard application portal at 4 am on the weekend that I expected to hear back from the university. I opened up my laptop quietly, went to the admission portal, and clicked the button that said ‘View update’ – all while holding my breath.

I cannot say that it was my dream to study at Harvard – I never saw myself at such a prestigious institution. It never occurred to me that this was a place that I could dare to apply to or consider myself being in, and hence there was no chance that it would be my dream.

How do you dream about something that you could never imagine?

Sapna At Cambridge, Massachusetts

But I sat there. Ready to click on the button that would show me the result of a rigorous 3 month application period – hours of webinars, scores of LinkedIn chats, zooming with alumni, drafts after drafts of essays, GRE preparation, documentation and prayers. I sincerely hoped that it would have worked out. Harvard was the only university I had applied to. I had no backup plans. And I was okay with that.

It was about 3 months after my daughter Dua passed away that I decided to apply to Harvard. Amongst the many gifts that she left me with, I am most grateful for the renewed value for time. She urged me to sit back and reflect on how I was spending my time and thereby, my life. What is it that I want to do with my life? What is it that I want to leave behind before I run out of my time? (the clock is ticking for all of us). Do I want to live a life where I have gained only comforts and happiness and joy for myself or one where I struggle to be a better version of myself and embrace the discomforts that come with that choice but live a more fulfilling one? (I am naturally a lazy human being, so I am inclined to naturally choose the former option). But since according to my faith, choosing the latter where I live a life of struggle or ‘jihad’ and resilience or ‘sabr’ for a better world is what will get me closer to the Creator and hopefully give me any chance to be reunited with my Dua, it was now difficult to ignore the latter option.

Sapna at Harvard

I found myself being more intentional about looking ahead and seeking ways to contribute more and be a better version of myself. I reflected on my work in the Indian education system over the last 7 years and studied the landscape even more, to understand where I can contribute meaningfully and recognized that I now needed to grow in my perspectives and skills. This is when I came across the program at Harvard University and as I read through the course description, I felt as though this program was crafted just for me. Adding to that, learning about the immense development opportunities that the university offers its affiliates beyond the classroom lit a burning desire in me to be a student again.

So on that morning of March as I sat on my bed at 4 am to click ‘View update’, I silently hoped it would be an acceptance. I clicked the link. As crimson streamers danced around on my screen, a wave of relief and calm passed through me and I stared at my husband silently, expressionless.

It was a very humbling moment to see that something unimaginable for me had been achieved. I later smiled, laughed and cried. The hours of hard work that a lazy person put in, intending to bring more ‘sabr’ into life had turned out fruitful. I am grateful that this worked out the way it did.

I understand that it could have gone the other way as well. And I would still not regret the time that I put into this process, because of the value the process itself gave me in terms of building resilience and learning more about myself through my reflections. And I also agree when my husband reminds me that in fact having the courage to apply and putting in the work to apply to Harvard was the real achievement and not the acceptance.

Sapna’s Acceptance Letter

I am here now. My official orientation begins this coming week, and I am so very grateful for this massive opportunity. I am grateful to the Almighty, to the wonderful family backing me up and to every person – literally hundreds of individuals – who invested their time and hard-earned money so that I could secure and enrol in this program. I hope to document and share my experiences and learnings from my short 1 year at Harvard and America.

While I needed a life-changing event to bring a better perspective to my life, we don’t all need to wait for something to happen to us. Every single day we have the choice to be better. It would be beneficial to ask ourselves, ‘How do I spend my time, and thereby, my life?’.

I share my story in hopes that it gives you the courage to look within and seek to grow every day. It may be to apply to a university that you have always wanted to be in or never imagined yourself to be in (like in my case), or spend more quality time with family, or restart your education after a long break, or finish reading that book you started a while ago, or eat healthier. We can all be more resilient and have more ‘sabr’ in our lives. I hope this inspires or reminds you to strive for goals that you have discovered and are yet to discover.

I close with gratitude for all the love and support you have always shown me. I hope you continue to wish me well.

Thank you and Salam (Peace).

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